


Life in the Loser Pit

by Beth Harker (Beth_Harker)



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Podfic, Pre-Squip, Warnings: bullying (discussed) - weed (mentioned) - snot (mentioned)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-03-18 03:36:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13673439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beth_Harker/pseuds/Beth%20Harker
Summary: “It's like this,” Jeremy explained.  “If you’re cool, then you can do whatever, and people will mostly overlook it.  If you’re not, then everything you do wrong will dig you deeper into the not-cool pit, even if it's just something small, like blinking too often, or not blinking enough."Chapter 1 is the fic, and chapter 2 is a podfic (audio recording) of the fic.





	1. Chapter 1

Jeremy was quiet heading to Michael's car. He walked just ahead of Michael, with a spring in his step that maybe meant he was in a good mood, or maybe meant he was trying to book it out of the school as fast as his gangly legs would carry him. Upon getting into the car, Jeremy wasted no time in closing the window on the passenger side. Was he cold? Michael was verging on overheated, sweat pooling beneath his hoodie, but Jeremy didn't have a layer of fleece to protect him from the elements, plus he was ridiculously thin, so…

Jeremy gestured for Michael to roll up his window as well. As soon as Michael did, Jeremy began to cough like there was a small animal stuck in his throat. This explosion lasted over a minute, and was followed up by Jeremy fishing out a tissue, and blowing his nose like he was trying to create a snot tsunami. 

“Holy fuck,” Jeremy exclaimed upon finishing. He leaned his head back against the seat, staring up at the roof of the car with an expression that Michael couldn't quite read. 

“Dude, what _was_ that?” Michael asked. “Are you dying?” 

“I'm great,” Jeremy said. “Really good. I've been needing to do that all day.” 

He looked sort of blissed out, and Michael couldn't help but wonder if something he saw online had caused him to develop some kind of weird ass coughing and nose blowing fetish, but that didn't make sense, because Michael liked to think that Jeremy would at least _ask_ before getting freaky his car without any provocation. 

Michael made a gesture, like he was sending the idea out of his mind, to go flying off into the stratosphere, where the moon and stars and whatever heavenly bodies might take an interest in Michael’s convoluted thought process could make of it what they wanted. He fiddled with his car stereo, trying to decide what he wanted to listen to. Different days had different vibes and different beats, and Michael needed one that would jive with being way too warm and listening to Jeremy’s weird noises. 

Jeremy let out something between a cough and a growl. 

“That's great, man,” Michael said. “You just keep giving in to your primal urges over there.” 

“You don't understand. I started to feel like I needed to cough during second period, then my nose got blocked up, and I've been holding it in since then, and honestly it's the worst.” 

“Do you you think you’re getting a cold?” 

“I don't know! Maybe. I hope so, but with my luck, probably not. Like-like-like…like, if I get a fever, I can stay home and cough in peace.” 

“Is there a reason you can't cough in class?” Michael asked, settling on that pirate metal band he'd found on MySpace the other day. 

“People would hear me!” Jeremy exclaimed, his misery loud and clear even over the chorus of _arrrrrrr_ s and _aye-me-matey_ s on the radio. 

“So?”

“They'd be grossed out.” 

“Why? People cough. Their noses run. And, like, that's not even the grossest thing that people do. I downloaded this one documentary about how autopsies are performed, and it was pretty knarly, so unless you’re performing an autopsy in class, I don't think anybody has any right to complain.” 

“Thanks,” Jeremy said. “That makes me feel better.” His voice was deadpan, which meant he did not feel better. 

“I've seen teachers blow their noses in class,” Michael said. 

“Today Jake Dillinger coughed in class four times, and Brooke sniffled at least eight.” 

“Great! So there you go. Coughing, nose blowing, and sniffling are all super allowed in the classroom.”

“No they’re not!” Jeremy exclaimed. “I mean yes! Yes. Yes they are, but only if you are Jake or Brooke.” 

“…Okay, awesome, so that makes no sense.”

“It's like this,” Jeremy explained, “If you’re cool, then you can do whatever, and people will mostly overlook it. If you’re not, then everything you do wrong will dig you deeper into the not-cool pit, even if it's just something small, like blinking too often, or not blinking enough.” 

“That’s—” Michael trailed off. He wanted to tell Jeremy he was being ridiculous, but lately Rich Goranski had been making fun of the way Michael breathed, with his mouth open instead of closed, and even with his headphones on to cover it most of the time, Michael was vaguely aware that name _Michael Mouth-Breather_ had been gaining traction. 

“Okay,” Michael started again. “So you’re right, but what's the point in caring? On a basic level, the ‘pit of uncoolness’ that you’re talking about is pretty much just like my basement or whatever, and that's awesome! We’ve got a good supply of weed, and endless video games…. not to mention each other.” 

Jeremy laughed. “That's so cheesy.”

Michael pretended to pout, leaning his head towards Jeremy. “I wuv you vewwy vewwy much,” he said. 

Jeremy gave him the finger, but he was smiling all over, which just proved that Michael was right. Life was happy, warm, and totally bangin’ down in the loser pit.


	2. Life in the Loser Pit - Podfic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a podfic version of the first chapter, which is to say, it's an audio recording of me reading the text. I've never done a podfic before, and I wanted to give it a try. Let me know what you think, and if this is something I should do for more of my stories.

[click here to listen to the podfic (YouTube link)](https://youtu.be/oPKZc9J-unA)


End file.
